I wasn't going to talk about this one. I tried. I really did. Ever since I hung my "couch" (In the Couch with Freddy) I've been purposely oblivious to media goofs such as this. But this GHALLYWOOD thing is getting to me.
When I first heard the term Ghallywood, I was hoping it was a bad joke that would die quickly. You know, one of those things that come and go in a fleeting flight of folly. It seems I underestimated our affection for the absurd, and this pains me so.
Which illiterate thought up the name Ghallywood? And which other less-than-illiterate folks decided to be disciples of that silly name?
First of all let's be original. If we can't be original, let's copy wisely! Study these names wisely. Hollywood, Bollywood, and Nollywood. If you are smart enough, you will realize that only the first letters of the country/city were used. So the reason behind the name Bollywood is derived from the city Bombay, (now known as Mumbai) in India. For those of you who don't know, Bollywood got its name because it rivaled Hollywood in the production of movies somewhere in the '70s. Our Nigerian brothers decided to follow in that fashion and were smart about it. They settled on Nollywood. Not that Nigerian movies are that great or that they rival the movie production industry in Hollywood or Bollywood, it's just because they are Nigerians.
Now in our haste to "belong", we came up with the distasteful word GHALLYWOOD, going against all the rules in the game of the -WOODS. And to add to that, our movies suck! Big time. I'm talking major league sucking. They are much worse than the Nigerian movies, with the exception of a few.
I've seen a lot of this name loosely thrown about in the media lately and I am disappointed in the National Media Commission, the Ministry of Information, the Ghana Institute of Journalism, Actors Guild (or whatever they call themselves) and people like David Dontoh and Efo Mawugbe, who are supposed to be guardians of our arts and creativity in the country!
We really are pathetic and I am not ashamed to say it! If there are any out there who agree with me, please, let's run it up a flagpole and make sure the message gets drummed in. GHALLYWOOD is just dumb and ugly. It's an illiterate expression of creativity and must be buried before it begins to decay and starts to smell real bad.
STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!!
STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!!
STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!!
Wei nyinaa yε nkurasesεm!
If you want to be noticed that badly, why don't you come up with better names. In any case, why do we even want to name such a dead dog we like to think of as an industry? It's plain silly if you ask me.
Instead of us looking for better ways to improve on the quality of the silly home videos we call movies, we are searching for names to adorn it. A monkey is still a monkey, even if you put it in Louis Vitton stilettos and wear it make-up. It is still a monkey. No more, much less. Let's grow up and start thinking about what is important, rather than coming up with silly names that don't add jack to sh!t.
The Rebel has spoken.
Showing posts with label africa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label africa. Show all posts
Monday, October 11, 2010
Friday, November 13, 2009
Gang Who?
I was going through some of my old documents and I chanced upon this piece here. I enjoyed reading it once more and thought you would too.
It's from my days writing "In the Couch with Freddy" in JIVE Entertainment Weekly a while back.
First of, you guys need to forgive me. I know this column has been missing from Jive for the longest while, and possibly this might be my last entry for a long while to come. famosfreddy needs to take a little break.
But lemme get right down to business!
Last week I had several calls from all over to check out this new addition to the silver screen. Now y’all know that the moment something like that comes unto the screen, it’s just begging me to comment.
Hmmm… to begin with, the name is cheesy! Which creative minds over at TV3 decided that this was the best name to give to a contest? Gang Stars paa, some dey inside. I think they got the Gang bit right, but fell short of the Stars aspect. How do they manage to round up all the “kankpe” (hard core) people in one single slot of television time? It’s funny how Stars of the Future manages to get one type and TV3 ends up with another. Although I think that this year’s Stars of the Future wasn’t entirely up to snuff. That’s another matter for another medium.
Ok now, the only difference between this one and the Mentor is that they come in twos and threes and fours; male and female alike.
So I set up myself to watch this great show I’d heard so much about. There’s one mistake I made though; I had my dinner at the same time I was watching it. And if TV3 has any feelings for this poor soul of mine, they should compensate me for every time I nearly choked on a morsel. My brother recounts his displeasure of watching the opening of the show under the attack of mosquitoes. Now that is a sad story.
To be fair, I’ll say that not all the Gang Stars were utterly appalling, some were disgraceful and others were an embarrassment. Rather than call them Gang Stars, I’ll refer to them as Dimmed Shimmers. They need to realize that the songs they sing aren't theirs and as long as they are in that contest, and might want to merit the name “Star”, they’ll have to come up with something better than simply putting mime to an already established song. I like the judges, B.B., Jackie and DKB. But I hate their position. I wonder if they truly enjoy that role. It must be horrifying. Each time a group comes on stage it’s like a battlefield with guns going off in all directions. Duck! Bomb’s away! Sheesh!
If you saw my face when one batch came up to do Backstreet Boys’ “Quit Playing Games”, you might understand, albeit fairly, how my insides were churning. With all their might, they masterfully owned the song (not in the good sense as we would have hoped) and destroyed the music sheet with which the song was composed. The Backstreet Boys are not exactly my favorites; nonetheless, I can’t begin to fathom what they will make of this dirgeful rendition of the song. It was a complete and utter mess. There’s something interesting I noticed as well. When they were done singing and the hosts, Black Boy & that squeamish lady with the rat attack hairdo who tagged along, came up to talk to them, at least 70% of the time, the mics of the contestants didn’t work. That certainly raised my eyebrows. Besides the lead singer, how did the rest back him/her up? Hmmm?
The proceedings of that entire night reinstated my belief that clearly we have no sense of music! And that’s where all the work need be targeted. Not when they are old and set in their ways. Too late to teach and old dog new tricks, you know?
They need to be told right this moment that they can't keep riding on somebody else's choo-choo train. What's the skill in simply lip synching another's song? No real exhibition of talent in that. Somebody, please tell me the purpose of this gathering of Gang Stars. I implore you.
Instead of propelling us ahead of all four mentor seasons, they took me way back to secondary school days when entertainment night was all about getting on stage, miming and getting off stage. As my mosquito-bite ridden brother said, it reminded him of Saturday evening Variety Shows in SSS. There was no real need to sing, just look good on stage and everyone will like you.
Anywho, you’ve got to admire TV3’s unquenchable desire to entertain it’s audiences. They try. Truly they do.
But before I leave, here’s one word of advice to my Gang Star buddies; the fact that you enjoy singing a Mary J Blige/Mario/Jahiem song in your bathroom doesn't mean you can torture is with it.
Adios amigos
It's from my days writing "In the Couch with Freddy" in JIVE Entertainment Weekly a while back.
First of, you guys need to forgive me. I know this column has been missing from Jive for the longest while, and possibly this might be my last entry for a long while to come. famosfreddy needs to take a little break.
But lemme get right down to business!
Last week I had several calls from all over to check out this new addition to the silver screen. Now y’all know that the moment something like that comes unto the screen, it’s just begging me to comment.
Hmmm… to begin with, the name is cheesy! Which creative minds over at TV3 decided that this was the best name to give to a contest? Gang Stars paa, some dey inside. I think they got the Gang bit right, but fell short of the Stars aspect. How do they manage to round up all the “kankpe” (hard core) people in one single slot of television time? It’s funny how Stars of the Future manages to get one type and TV3 ends up with another. Although I think that this year’s Stars of the Future wasn’t entirely up to snuff. That’s another matter for another medium.
Ok now, the only difference between this one and the Mentor is that they come in twos and threes and fours; male and female alike.
So I set up myself to watch this great show I’d heard so much about. There’s one mistake I made though; I had my dinner at the same time I was watching it. And if TV3 has any feelings for this poor soul of mine, they should compensate me for every time I nearly choked on a morsel. My brother recounts his displeasure of watching the opening of the show under the attack of mosquitoes. Now that is a sad story.
To be fair, I’ll say that not all the Gang Stars were utterly appalling, some were disgraceful and others were an embarrassment. Rather than call them Gang Stars, I’ll refer to them as Dimmed Shimmers. They need to realize that the songs they sing aren't theirs and as long as they are in that contest, and might want to merit the name “Star”, they’ll have to come up with something better than simply putting mime to an already established song. I like the judges, B.B., Jackie and DKB. But I hate their position. I wonder if they truly enjoy that role. It must be horrifying. Each time a group comes on stage it’s like a battlefield with guns going off in all directions. Duck! Bomb’s away! Sheesh!
If you saw my face when one batch came up to do Backstreet Boys’ “Quit Playing Games”, you might understand, albeit fairly, how my insides were churning. With all their might, they masterfully owned the song (not in the good sense as we would have hoped) and destroyed the music sheet with which the song was composed. The Backstreet Boys are not exactly my favorites; nonetheless, I can’t begin to fathom what they will make of this dirgeful rendition of the song. It was a complete and utter mess. There’s something interesting I noticed as well. When they were done singing and the hosts, Black Boy & that squeamish lady with the rat attack hairdo who tagged along, came up to talk to them, at least 70% of the time, the mics of the contestants didn’t work. That certainly raised my eyebrows. Besides the lead singer, how did the rest back him/her up? Hmmm?
The proceedings of that entire night reinstated my belief that clearly we have no sense of music! And that’s where all the work need be targeted. Not when they are old and set in their ways. Too late to teach and old dog new tricks, you know?
They need to be told right this moment that they can't keep riding on somebody else's choo-choo train. What's the skill in simply lip synching another's song? No real exhibition of talent in that. Somebody, please tell me the purpose of this gathering of Gang Stars. I implore you.
Instead of propelling us ahead of all four mentor seasons, they took me way back to secondary school days when entertainment night was all about getting on stage, miming and getting off stage. As my mosquito-bite ridden brother said, it reminded him of Saturday evening Variety Shows in SSS. There was no real need to sing, just look good on stage and everyone will like you.
Anywho, you’ve got to admire TV3’s unquenchable desire to entertain it’s audiences. They try. Truly they do.
But before I leave, here’s one word of advice to my Gang Star buddies; the fact that you enjoy singing a Mary J Blige/Mario/Jahiem song in your bathroom doesn't mean you can torture is with it.
Adios amigos
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