ghallywood?oh.you.mean.ghastlywood!

I wasn't going to talk about this one. I tried. I really did. Ever since I hung my "couch" (In the Couch with Freddy) I've been purposely oblivious to media goofs such as this. But this GHALLYWOOD thing is getting to me.

When I first heard the term Ghallywood, I was hoping it was a bad joke that would die quickly. You know, one of those things that come and go in a fleeting flight of folly. It seems I underestimated our affection for the absurd, and this pains me so.

Which illiterate thought up the name Ghallywood? And which other less-than-illiterate folks decided to be disciples of that silly name?

First of all let's be original. If we can't be original, let's copy wisely! Study these names wisely. Hollywood, Bollywood, and Nollywood. If you are smart enough, you will realize that only the first letters of the country/city were used. So the reason behind the name Bollywood is derived from the city Bombay, (now known as Mumbai) in India. For those of you who don't know, Bollywood got its name because it rivaled Hollywood in the production of movies somewhere in the '70s. Our Nigerian brothers decided to follow in that fashion and were smart about it. They settled on Nollywood. Not that Nigerian movies are that great or that they rival the movie production industry in Hollywood or Bollywood, it's just because they are Nigerians.

Now in our haste to "belong", we came up with the distasteful word GHALLYWOOD, going against all the rules in the game of the -WOODS. And to add to that, our movies suck! Big time. I'm talking major league sucking. They are much worse than the Nigerian movies, with the exception of a few.

I've seen a lot of this name loosely thrown about in the media lately and I am disappointed in the National Media Commission, the Ministry of Information, the Ghana Institute of Journalism, Actors Guild (or whatever they call themselves) and people like David Dontoh and Efo Mawugbe, who are supposed to be guardians of our arts and creativity in the country!

We really are pathetic and I am not ashamed to say it! If there are any out there who agree with me, please, let's run it up a flagpole and make sure the message gets drummed in. GHALLYWOOD is just dumb and ugly. It's an illiterate expression of creativity and must be buried before it begins to decay and starts to smell real bad.

STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!!

STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!!

STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!!

Wei nyinaa yε nkurasesεm!

If you want to be noticed that badly, why don't you come up with better names. In any case, why do we even want to name such a dead dog we like to think of as an industry? It's plain silly if you ask me.

Instead of us looking for better ways to improve on the quality of the silly home videos we call movies, we are searching for names to adorn it. A monkey is still a monkey, even if you put it in Louis Vitton stilettos and wear it make-up. It is still a monkey. No more, much less. Let's grow up and start thinking about what is important, rather than coming up with silly names that don't add jack to sh!t.

The Rebel has spoken.