Monday, November 1, 2010

dowry.cowry

I don't usually like forwarded messages, but a friend sent me this and I just had to share it with you all. It is a list of the required dowry from the major ethnic groups in Ghana. I am uncertain as to who the author of this magnificent piece is, but I doff off my hat to this person. I have made slight modifications to suit the style of the RebelRyter's Realm.

Just for the record, I am Akuapem, so this list will be added on to the list I so freely furnished in my previous post.

The Gas


  1. 10 pieces of white cloth (to be worn by the lady during pregnancy & for the outdooring)

  2. 20 crates of Star beer (10 for the mother-in-law, 10 for father-in-law)

  3. Albion or Nissan Bluebird car

  4. 4 live pigs (for domedo - a term for grilled/fried pork)

  5. One akasanoma radio (for listening to Obunu 93.3FM)

  6. 2 years advance rent (as you will be staying with your in-laws)

  7. 1 CD compilation of DJ Gblagazaa's Mixx feat Screwface

  8. 1 Pair Trawler

  9. 1 drum of apeteshie - (a locally brewed alcoholic beverage - 100% alcohol). This will be for the purposes of offering libation.

  10. Valid residence preferably in James Town, Mpoase, Mamprobi, Chokor, Teshie, Tsui Bleeoo, Teshie Tiafi-ahe


The Ashanti


  1. Valid visa to Germany/Spain/USA

  2. Shares in Obuasi Goldfields

  3. 1 Store at a Commercial Business District

  4. A degree in "yobbing" (incessant and unnecessary bragging)

  5. DNA Test results to prove lineage to the Asante Kingdom

  6. Middle School Leaving Certificate (standard 7 accepted)

  7. 5 sets of mortar and pestle (for years of fufu pounding)

  8. Cassava & plantain farm (no fufu powder)

  9. Must speak fluent "capo" language

  10. 1 copy of Everyday English

  11. Valid residence in communities such as Abossey Okai, North Kaneshie, Sukura and Russia


The Ewes


  1. 10kg of "atama" snuff (for the father-in-law)

  2. Oversized Tema-station suit (for future growth and expansion)

  3. A Cassava farm

  4. Multi-colored XXXL towel for father-in-law (if he's from the Southern Volta)

  5. 10 pieces of white "Obroni waawu" singlets (for the father in-law)

  6. 8 pieces of multicolored vest (for Mother-in-law). To be used on market days

  7. One stall at Asigame (for mother-in-law)

  8. Connections to work in government agencies preferably post offices and hospitals

  9. 20 sets of neatly wrapped chewing sticks

  10. My First Copy Book (for retired fisherman now turned student

  11. Valid residence preferably in these locations: Madina, Agbogba, Adenta, Haatso, Libya Quarters, Ashaley Botwe


The Kwahus


  1. 3 year valid SUSU Savings/account

  2. Hardware store- dealing in cement, iron rods, paints, roofing sheets etc.

  3. Middle School Leaving Certificate

  4. Ability to sponsor Easter trips back home every year

  5. Valid visa and work permit in Spain preferably apple plantations

  6. One drinking spot

  7. Valid residence in areas such as Dome, Taifa, Kwabenya, Saint Johns etc


The Krobos


  1. 30 packs of GSMF approved condoms (protection sake)

  2. 20 funeral cloths

  3. Ability to perform paternity tests often

  4. One blue kiosk

  5. 45 pieces of mercy soap/cream and ointment

  6. Residence in a compound house


The Akuapems


  1. a Presby Hymn book (Akwiapim Version)

  2. A Bible (Akuapem translation, hard cover)

  3. 2 tubers of yam for (otoh - mashed yam and palm oil meal)


The Fantes


  1. 20 crates of Ovaltine/Tetley tea bags

  2. 50kg of sausage

  3. 77 containers of jam/margarine

  4. 67 crates of ideal milk

  5. 10 boxes of turkey wings

  6. 6 crates of eggs

  7. 1 seagoing canoe

  8. Required High School-Adisadel College & Mfantsipim

  9. Participation in keysoap TV programmes especially Cantata & Concert Party

  10. Connection to work in government agencies such as Post office, Ministries and Newspaper agencies

  11. The man has to prove eligibility to rise up to be a Principal Secretary

  12. Qualifies to live in government bungalow

  13. A side plan (done by the most renowned architect in the country Architect..........) which will always be in his back pockets, to exhibit/show the building plan he will never be able to put up.

  14. Tons of carton of beefi nam for light soup.

3 comments:

  1. read it sometime last week as an email also.... so hilarious...
    you see with the akuapems (which i am), we arent too demanding....and i think it's a good thing ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. my favourite probs is the ashantis and fantes...

    ReplyDelete
  3. i know, right? 3 items pÉ› on the list. but as for the 2 tubers of yam for otoh, some dey inside!

    ReplyDelete