Just for the record, I am Akuapem, so this list will be added on to the list I so freely furnished in my previous post.
The Gas
- 10 pieces of white cloth (to be worn by the lady during pregnancy & for the outdooring)
- 20 crates of Star beer (10 for the mother-in-law, 10 for father-in-law)
- Albion or Nissan Bluebird car
- 4 live pigs (for domedo - a term for grilled/fried pork)
- One akasanoma radio (for listening to Obunu 93.3FM)
- 2 years advance rent (as you will be staying with your in-laws)
- 1 CD compilation of DJ Gblagazaa's Mixx feat Screwface
- 1 Pair Trawler
- 1 drum of apeteshie - (a locally brewed alcoholic beverage - 100% alcohol). This will be for the purposes of offering libation.
- Valid residence preferably in James Town, Mpoase, Mamprobi, Chokor, Teshie, Tsui Bleeoo, Teshie Tiafi-ahe
The Ashanti
- Valid visa to Germany/Spain/USA
- Shares in Obuasi Goldfields
- 1 Store at a Commercial Business District
- A degree in "yobbing" (incessant and unnecessary bragging)
- DNA Test results to prove lineage to the Asante Kingdom
- Middle School Leaving Certificate (standard 7 accepted)
- 5 sets of mortar and pestle (for years of fufu pounding)
- Cassava & plantain farm (no fufu powder)
- Must speak fluent "capo" language
- 1 copy of Everyday English
- Valid residence in communities such as Abossey Okai, North Kaneshie, Sukura and Russia
The Ewes
- 10kg of "atama" snuff (for the father-in-law)
- Oversized Tema-station suit (for future growth and expansion)
- A Cassava farm
- Multi-colored XXXL towel for father-in-law (if he's from the Southern Volta)
- 10 pieces of white "Obroni waawu" singlets (for the father in-law)
- 8 pieces of multicolored vest (for Mother-in-law). To be used on market days
- One stall at Asigame (for mother-in-law)
- Connections to work in government agencies preferably post offices and hospitals
- 20 sets of neatly wrapped chewing sticks
- My First Copy Book (for retired fisherman now turned student
- Valid residence preferably in these locations: Madina, Agbogba, Adenta, Haatso, Libya Quarters, Ashaley Botwe
The Kwahus
- 3 year valid SUSU Savings/account
- Hardware store- dealing in cement, iron rods, paints, roofing sheets etc.
- Middle School Leaving Certificate
- Ability to sponsor Easter trips back home every year
- Valid visa and work permit in Spain preferably apple plantations
- One drinking spot
- Valid residence in areas such as Dome, Taifa, Kwabenya, Saint Johns etc
The Krobos
- 30 packs of GSMF approved condoms (protection sake)
- 20 funeral cloths
- Ability to perform paternity tests often
- One blue kiosk
- 45 pieces of mercy soap/cream and ointment
- Residence in a compound house
The Akuapems
- a Presby Hymn book (Akwiapim Version)
- A Bible (Akuapem translation, hard cover)
- 2 tubers of yam for (otoh - mashed yam and palm oil meal)
The Fantes
- 20 crates of Ovaltine/Tetley tea bags
- 50kg of sausage
- 77 containers of jam/margarine
- 67 crates of ideal milk
- 10 boxes of turkey wings
- 6 crates of eggs
- 1 seagoing canoe
- Required High School-Adisadel College & Mfantsipim
- Participation in keysoap TV programmes especially Cantata & Concert Party
- Connection to work in government agencies such as Post office, Ministries and Newspaper agencies
- The man has to prove eligibility to rise up to be a Principal Secretary
- Qualifies to live in government bungalow
- A side plan (done by the most renowned architect in the country Architect..........) which will always be in his back pockets, to exhibit/show the building plan he will never be able to put up.
- Tons of carton of beefi nam for light soup.
read it sometime last week as an email also.... so hilarious...
ReplyDeleteyou see with the akuapems (which i am), we arent too demanding....and i think it's a good thing ;-)
my favourite probs is the ashantis and fantes...
ReplyDeletei know, right? 3 items pÉ› on the list. but as for the 2 tubers of yam for otoh, some dey inside!
ReplyDelete